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Because of all this want, we sometimes are afraid we feel too much. Some of us try to go numb; we turn on the television and zone out on political debates, or reality people showing their other selves—their nasty bad acting selves—or read news about serial killers or car bombers or we drink too much or eat too much or run too much. We make our lives numb so we can take care of ourselves and be separate from a collective anguish of powerlessness.
But in that last hour we are into feeling. We are into intimacy. My beloved says the single most poignant thing I have ever heard. She says, “I love to go to bed and I love to wake up.”
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The Throwaways - The Rumpus.net
more from Melissa Chadburn, because I am in love with her writing and just sent her a fan email, and because this this this this.
also am thinking about waking up next to someone, or rather thinking about waking up next to someones and how different it can feel. rolling over in the middle of the night to get a kiss that then extends into touching, moving, before the sun comes up. how sweet that was compared to waking up because the person next to you is shifting, tossing, turning, pulling away from you and no matter how far you reach you can’t reach him.
how lying awake next to someone is the worst or the best thing in the world. but either way yes I wonder if I feel too much.
